The steps of dating

11 Nov

The first phase of courtship is letting others know that you are present and available through a variety of means such as posture, clothing, facial expressions, movement, and other related non-verbal communications.Similar to a peacock showing its feathers, this first stage of the courtship process is a complex come-hither dance that combines attention-getting behavior with still what Charles Darwin called 'submissive displays' - but most of us just call it flirting.Putting the man in front of your feelings and needs may seem like the right thing to do at the beginning of a relationship (hey, don’t we all have irrational fears that aren’t attractive? Just because you don’t want to feel insecure, needy, uncomfortable and scared, doesn’t mean that you aren’t feeling that way.And chances are—if you feel these feelings in your budding relationship, he can sense them.

Without an understanding of this stage, it is too easy for a man to drift from partner to partner and for a woman to make the mistake of pursuing a man more than he is pursuing her.Stop listening to all that advice telling you to play it cool...Are you in the early stages of dating a man and wondering if he is as serious about you and you are about him?Are you trying really hard not to ruffle his “commitment feathers” by asking him how he feels about you?Are you, instead, trying your best to show him what a great catch you are by being the sweet, fun-time, easy-breezy gal on the outside (even if you are crumbling with worry and insecurity on this inside)?A major aspect of the job is to support and coach clients every step of the way– including before the dating process begins.When I first meet with a client, my primary goal is to get to know them as an individual.Trying to play the “cool card” when you are anything but, isn’t going to bring him closer.He’s going to smell a disharmonious vibe wafting off you: you say you’re fine but your energy screams, “Do you love me or not, and why don’t you show it more?!Once the first phase of the courtship process is complete, the next stage is to watch for positive body language from others in close proximity.In the most simple of terms, the second stage of courtship is like yelling, ' Help!