Dating checklist

09 May

I will say, these 5 were not on the original list, but consider critical at this stage in my life. My immediate thought is that it’s hindering, however I think it is helping me get to the ‘right one’ without wasting time, energy, feelings, with the ‘wrong ones’. I have 5 values that I look for in a man: where his faith at, if he has emotional intelligence, how communicative he is, and if he’s nurturing and grateful.That being said, I haven’t found men to meet my dating requirements! This list has gotten more defined over time, and the requirements have shifted to values instead of a “checklist” mentality.“Dating checklists” are everywhere- you may even have one. Chances are, there are items on your “man list” that are equally contradicting, impossible, too specific, uncontrollable or subjective.Consider this: could your very own personal dating checklist seem just as ridiculous as the unfortunate surgeon’s? Sure enough, with only a few seconds of your basic internet browsing you can find examples of all these types of list problems.Tragically, even the most promising contestants can’t withstand, and soon we are left with no contestants to compete in our games.The further we are transported away from the idea that we will ever find real love, the more unrealistic our dating requirements become.

So, yuk it up, ladies, this guy is obviously a fool!Since then, my list has evolved – maybe not necessarily shortened or grown, but change in what I consider more important.If I had to cut my list down to five non-negotiables, I suppose it would be honesty, respect, ambition, attraction and undeniable chemistry.And some people – well, their list looks like a freaking sushi menu If you’re single, you may have found yourself wondering if your list of dating requirements is holding you back at all.In fact, you may have had well-meaning (but seriously obnoxious) friends and family members tell you to stop being so picky. We asked Laura, Amanda, Lisa, Nycole, Chloe, Brittany and Nick to tell us a little bit about their personal dating requirements – and find out how they really feel about dating checklists. It started as a joke my freshmen year in college (pre-Facebook days! It was a typed list based on a point system – 65 total points, and a guy needed 50 to be considered.For instance, I tend to like big, cuddly guys, but every once in a while my eye is turned by a guy who’s tall and skinny.When that happens, I pay extra attention because it’s usually some other aspect of him—his personality or sense of humor or career choice—that’s pulling me in his direction.In the preview for Bravo’s upcoming reality show “Miss Advised,” internet personality Julia Allison boldly exclaims that she’s looking for a husband and has a 73-point checklist. I think we often use code words like “quality” to mean just those things, and that’s a shame, because to me the qualities that make a “quality guy” are value systems and beliefs, and how they’re put into action. I read those to a friend, who said, “Isn’t every woman looking for a guy like that?When I heard that, my immediate thought was that I’ve never had a checklist, and even when I’ve set vague goals for the types of people I wanted to date, I’ve found that the universe tends to throw people in my path who are explicitly not the types I’d have said I was looking for, as if it’s testing me. ” True, those are broad enough to be almost universal, but at the same time, good luck to anyone who’s not a celebrity finding a man who possesses all those traits (and isn’t arrogant about it).Here’s a good one: Seriously, just search on those phrases and you’ll find it too.How, on God’s green earth, can a guy end up with a soccer player’s physique without spending a major portion of each week at a gym? Is it possible that the person who made this list doesn’t even know?