Why do negative thoughts come to mind

Feelings and thoughts control us. If the feelings are positive, everything is fine. But nobody likes negative emotions. We try to suppress it so that we no longer have to feel it. Unfortunately that doesn't work. Our body reacts. Repressed feelings cause pain. Therefore it is important to accept ALL feelings.

Feelings determine our life

Are you feeling very sad right now? Do you feel scared? Are you full of joy right now? Have you just been really annoyed? We all have different feelings all the time. But what exactly is a feeling?

Feeling is a psychological term that serves as a generic term for a wide variety of psychological experiences and reactions, such as Fear, anger, comedy, irony as well as pity, jealousy, fear, joy and love that ... can be described and thus also made verbal.


Life is not always “a pony farm” or “peace, joy, pancakes ...” mostly it is the bad times and thus the bad feelings that weigh on us. You have to be strong to face them and really allow them to happen. Because we are world champions in suppressing negative feelings. Perhaps we were also taught as children that anger is bad. Or we have experienced that anger creates even more anger in the other person.

It is also not easy as an adult to face one's fear. It hurts a lot. But every feeling is a part of us and has its full justification at the respective point in time. The full range of feelings is allowed. It is therefore important that we be clear about our feelings. Clarity creates a dissolution of bad memories. The feeling star shows a list of all our feelings (download)

Thoughts control our feelings

Do you know these people who swear all the time? Or the ones who only make negative comments about everything? People who find the bad thing in everything? And what happens to them? Of course, as evoked, bad things too. You want something from the office and you are promptly rejected. And and and ... Negative thoughts are like a vortex. They pull us more and more into a negative abyss.

Most people pay far too little attention to their thoughts. The focus is more on the feelings because we feel that. Even with very negative feelings, people rarely look to their thoughts. What am I thinking right now? It would make sense to listen carefully to yourself. Stress, for example, often arises in the head through one's own thoughts. A situation is initially neutral. It is only what we make of it in our thoughts and then do that triggers stress in the body.

Thoughts have great power in our body because there are electrical impulses in the brain with great powers. When the brain receives an electrical impulse through a thought, it becomes active immediately. Chemical substances (adrenaline ...) are released in the body. Everything is put in readiness in order to be able to react and act accordingly. Assessing the situation creates feelings. So thoughts are no small matter. Negative thoughts, evaluate the situation negatively and thus generate negative feelings!

What exactly happens in the body and what thoughts come to mind is determined by the subconscious. It is controlled by what we have learned and experienced from childhood. So there is an evaluation. A certain reaction of a person or a situation always presses a certain "button". Then the subconscious automatically unwinds the emotional and behavioral program created for this. This is exactly where the problem lies. Are the behaviors and feelings the right ones today? Or is it old and can it go?

Face your feelings

Understanding that the program learned is based on childhood experiences is one thing. The other is that we have to face the respective feeling in the here and now. Because only when we face a topic do we have the chance to change it. We need emotions for change. Feelings, including negative feelings, trigger something in us. You are an engine. But this engine can only work if we accept the feelings. Feelings that we understand and allow lose their captivating essence.

They ARE not your feelings, they HAVE feelings!

Old, mostly repressed negative feelings often also show up in physical pain. Last year I was able to learn that my back problems also have to do with great repressed emotions. There is my anger that I can no longer feel. I suppressed them. In moments when I should be angry, I always got sad. That was my coping strategy as a kid. But that anger was there. Anger wants to be heard to a reasonable extent, because too much makes you sick, too little too ...

When we reject our emotions or discount feelings as unacceptable, we are denying a part of ourselves. We are ultimately trying to avoid the pain associated with the feeling. We fear that our feelings will overwhelm us. The fear of not mastering it is great. So we split them off. Unfortunately we are hiding a part of ourselves.

There are no borders. Neither for thoughts nor feelings. It is fear that always sets limits.

Ingmar Bergman

It is important and "normal" to be angry, angry, pissed off, horrified ... in a situation. Anger, for example, often disappears quickly. By learning to understand and accept this feeling, I was able to dissolve my pain.

If you face your negative feelings, you can resolve physical pain. So I'm very grateful that my body is such a great informant, so intense or uncomfortable feelings are like an alarm clock. As soon as you notice them, they have fulfilled their function. Only then can you stop the waking "ringing".

Change of thinking - change of feelings

Acceptance is the first step in dealing with dark feelings. It helps us understand negative psychological experiences. Those who manage to accept these emotions can learn to deal with them and to “normalize” them. In other words, they are no longer this gigantic size that makes us pass out. We then accept them as they are. We don't judge them as good or bad. They are ultimately a feeling for many.

Now it is a matter of confronting your own thoughts. How do I feel about this situation right now? Ask yourself that. A new, perhaps more positive way of looking at things also makes things easier in life. Do you see the glass is half full or are broken pieces bringing you luck? Look at things from a different angle than you have done before. You will be amazed what happens.

Because when I started toUnderstand, toAccept and the thoughts too Change Sooner or later there was a change in my feelings. Unfortunately, there is no button you can press to change your thoughts; it is about converting old thought paths that no longer fit into new, health-promoting ones. We promise that this is possible at any time, by anyone and at any age.

Practicing yourself brings a new way of dealing with feelings

Through constant practice you can change your life in a health-promoting direction that promises more joie de vivre again:

  • Learn to give recognition to your anger, fears, anger, and disappointment.
    • Instead of letting them take control, begin to accept them.
  • Allow yourself to feel appropriately negative.
    • If someone stepped on my feet, I can be angry today.
    • Or if a car takes my right of way, I react. How often do you mean, how often do I swear in the car ...?
  • Watch your thoughts closely.
    • What am I thinking right now?
    • How can I change my thoughts in a health-promoting way?
  • Constantly practice new, positive, constructive thoughts about yourself.
    • For example, I have my daily appointment to “praise”.
  • Find the good in a negative event, a bad experience with people.
    • What is the good thing about this situation?
    • Robert Betz calls them Arschengel, they bring a bad situation, but also the chance to change something for yourself.
  • Learn new things that interest them.
    • That can help to get other thoughts.
    • The "flow state" prevents negative thoughts. Think about children playing. Remembering that time is helpful.
    • This “flow feeling” at work or a hobby can still be felt today.
  • Find your purpose in life

It will take time for you to change something. After a while (this is different for every person) there will be a positive change in thoughts, behavior and feelings.

One more way ...

It is not always easy to access and identify the feelings and behaviors that are set in the subconscious. Most of the time we experience a situation today and react. But something feels weird. We may react particularly violently or inappropriately. When something like this happens to me, I now feel exactly what is really showing up for a feeling. What's behind it?

I clarify my feelings today by talking to people who are close to me. But also through the calm that meditation gives me, I come into contact with them. Unfortunately, I am not yet succeeding in the desired regularity - my practice field. But, I am already taking the necessary time today to really feel the feelings cleanly and to transform them into appropriate feelings.

  • Posted in: clarity, victim trap, personality
  • Keyword: depression, emotions, feelings, letting go, victim trap, self-discovery, self-love, self-esteem, anger